Why it matters to know what matters
B is for Being in BOLD, a self-coaching framework to boost mental wellness
The first time someone said to me ‘we are human beings, not human doings,’ I remember thinking how well it rolled off the tongue…and pushed it aside as an excuse to be lazy.
More fool me.
Throughout much of my career, I put no boundaries on my workload capacity.
I would happily forfeit my social life and weekends, dedicated to perfecting the next pitch or presentation, briefly basking in the external validation of a job well done, before becoming fixated on the next goal.
Everything looked glossy on the outside – the epitomy of a ‘successful career’ – on the inside I felt numb.
It took me many years to appreciate how my incessant ‘doing’ was often unhealthily driven by a need to prove my Value to others through what I did.
It’s only when I accepted that we all matter for who we are beyond the Value that we bring – something that obvious as it may seem, had not been evident to me at the time, that I was able to appreciate the wisdom of the ‘human beings not human doings comment’ that I had heard, so many years earlier.
Don’t get me wrong – getting stuff done and achieving goals is brilliant – it’s the not knowing when to stop or why we’re doing it that can tip our work/life balance dangerously off kilter and threaten our mental health, as it did mine.
Learning to shift our attention on to what matters to us - our Values - is a great way to steer towards ourselves as Humans being and away from Humans doing.
Values can be defined as our way of being or believing that we hold most important.
Honouring our Values keeps us on track with what matters and guides us to make choices that we feel positive about. When we behave in this way, it stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, two types of neurotransmitters in the brain that are heavily associated with happiness.
Research conducted by the Harvard Medical School reinforces how focusing on what brings you joy, can help make your life longer and healthier.
I know from personal experience that living in close alignment to my Values has done wonders for my Mental wellbeing. To see what it can do for yours, click here for a short exercise to discover what your Values are.
Short exercise to determine your Values
Let me know how it goes – I’m curious to hear how it goes!